the pop song

i just got a feeling. i don't know if it means pressing the same button over and over again, or if i'm doomed to be a complete faillure. but i got this feeling itching my spine that someday something will happen for me. maybe not here, maybe not where exactly i plan to, but something will take place, and it'll be huge. and that only got bigger after reading nineteen volumes of beck.

of course; i never shared any dream with my band mates, nor did have a special sort of vibe when sellecting a guitar from a shop. but let's face it, the real world isn't so romantic. even if my dreams rests in the figure of a cartoon named maho, even if i'll never be able to put out a show for more than 20 fans, i want to build something that i can think forever as 'great'.

the pathway to success is a tough one; and i need to practice more and more and more until i become on the edge of perfection within my limits. i'll only know if this vibe i'm feeling right now is bullshit when i'm on the edge, on a peek, with a foot on the air and the other in the ground. only then i'll know if i'll fly or if i'll fall and meet death. but at least i'll make the best out of myself, and wont die regreting something! and who knows? the odds are against it, but i may even fly!

nothing will hold me back now. thank you, beck. for giving me this utterly huge boost of confidence. i needed you in this time of my life, full of doubts and dissapointments. to know that one share the same dreams as myself, to know that it might even happen to gramps like me, to know it take years and years of practice and hard training for something to happen, makes me hopeful again.

once i was koyuki, and maybe the years and the disaproval and hardships i've been through made me different. but it still is the same spirit, i'm still a kid inside, waiting for something to happen. no longer i will wait! now i will take the step foward, just like you did back then when you want to regroup. i have to make it happen! this is my only shot in this life! this is what i was meant for! i have to make it!

i have dreams too! it's good to be able to dream so vividly again, to live an experience inside myself, to have the conditions to be able to make the choices i have to make! i'm not alone in this. i have MYSELF again.

THANK YOU, MONGOLIAN CHOP SQUAD